Help if you can

Recently I learned about a "crab story" from a friend of mine. The story goes like this: Once there was an exhibition/show of crabs from different parts of the world. All crabs were brought in glass containers with lids for the show so the crabs won't escape except for one container. A curious visitor asked the exhibitor why that particular container doesn't have the lid and the response was "Don't worry, they are Indian crabs. There is no fear of them escaping because if any one of them tries to crawl up, the other crabs will pull it down".  So, the gist of the story is that in some groups of people, there is this mentality of pulling people down if one of them is getting ahead of the rest. This is the first time I heard this story and apparently this is used in many business schools to teach about how there is this mentality of "If I can't have it, neither can you". Apparently Indians demonstrate this behavior more often than others and hence this is known as "Indian crab mentality".  This story stuck in my mind for past few weeks and I have been thinking about it if it is in fact true and why might that be attributed to the Indian mentality.

So, here is my take on this.  I think the root of the problem is that some societies are hyper competitive in nature than other.  It may be because of socioeconomic conditions, limited opportunities, or lack of awareness that your individual growth is highly influenced by the growth of the people around you. 

So my message is: 

1. Whether you are an Indian or not, be aware that we might fall in to this "crab mentality trap" and try to help people that are trying to get ahead any way you can

2. If you are one of those people that are fortunate enough to have achieved the success that others around you might not have achieved yet, give them a helping hand and try to pull them up

After all, you are as good as the people around you!

Self Confidence - Don't let anyone take it away from you!

Friends, It took me almost an year to get to blogging again but I am sure no one really missed it :)

The topic I want to write about today is about one of the key characteristics that we all need to have to be successful both professionally and personally - SELF CONFIDENCE

As I advanced in my career, I have seen many high points and low points that I traversed through and I was trying to reflect back on some of the low points to see what could have helped me avoid them.  In all instances, it became clear to me all points in time where I really felt like I hit a low point was where I lost confidence in myself.  

Most of you that know me will say that I am a very confident person and I know I used to argue with some of my friends in my childhood about self confidence vs. over confidence.  Some of the feedback I received when I was growing up was that I tend to sometimes be over confident.  I was conscious about that feedback and tried to be very careful not to be over confident as I advanced in my career.  

However, I learned through experience that loosing confidence in your own self could have as much negative impact on your progress or even worse than being over confident.  The temporary loss of self confidence could be because of multiple things.  It could be because the problem you are trying to deal with is simply bigger than what you can solve.  It could be because of the people around you may have a hidden agenda and they may be trying to instill a lack of confidence in  your own self to get you off course.  It could be because you are just stretched too thin and don't have the time to do proper homework to handle a problem or a situation and hence causing undesirable results causing less than optimal outcomes.  Whatever may be the reasons, once you loose your confidence, you will not be able to be your own self and you will be afraid to make any forward progress.  Best thing in this type of a situation is to take a time out and just diagnose what is contributing to the loss of confidence, regroup, surround yourself with the right people that imparts positive energy, and go at it strong with clarity, conviction, and purpose.  Once you are able to attain that clarity, you will automatically regain your self confidence and you will be a positive contributing individual again.  

So my message is simply to not let anything or anybody take away your SELF CONFIDENCE.  It is one of the most important characteristic if not the most important one to be successful.